Hmm... what happened recently? "Sickness week" finally ended. I had to catch up on a lot of things at school like lectures and lessons... But I've got it under control now. Last week was actually a depressing week for me, I mean, besides the fact that I've just recovered. *sigh* The problem was my self-confidence. My energy was lower than usual last week and I must admit, there were times when I'm so pessimistic on stuff... or just plain bored and uninterested on various things.
For some odd reason that I haven't really figured out, participation occupies most part of the grading system. I guess teachers just want to feel satisfied knowing what they teach actually goes in the student's brain and apply it so they often do discussions and reportings. So does that mean that only active students actually get the lesson? I mean, passive and quiet students such as myself understand it as much as they do... We just don't feel like raising our hands and talk in front of the class. I'm sure teachers notice that when computing test paper grades. But then again, there could be a lot of copying involved. *sigh*
I made a promise to my mother and my friends that I'll try to be active this school year considering the fact that there won't be another senior year in my life (unless of course for some freaky reason like... uh... I failed or something. But rest assured, it won't happen.). It was just that... Sitting there on my seat and watching my classmates raise their hands eagerly and recite with undoubtful confidence made me... uneasy. It's kinda hard to explain. Hah, and here I am desiring for the position of Valedictorian. Who am I kidding?
There I go again, I'm being a negative-thinker. *sigh* Another side to that... One morning I overheard my teacher and one of my classmate talking about me. I didn't get to hear their whole conversation since my friend was talking to me at that time. How did I notice? My teacher kept on looking at my direction. It was recess at that time. I heard her ask, "So why isn't Miami active?" It's a good thing that I have a friend who was just beside my teacher and my classmate. I asked her what she heard them talking about. She said our classmate was talking bad things about me behind my back. How nice, right?
I was thinking what could my classmate have said to my teacher... I got pissed and recently I notice my teacher's keenly observing me. She's probably trying to figure out my behavior through her own observations. Good for her. Well, I don't have to worry about that, I'm well-behaved at class. My only problem is recitation/participation. And I'm working on that.
Last Sunday I talked to my friend Rhay about my situation in class and how it's depressing that I'm actually degrading myself somehow coz of that. Thankfully he helped me realize some things that were so obvious that I should've realized on my own. It's funny how his simple explanations and encouraging words cleared my thoughts and brightened my day. Thanks so much Rhay.
I applied his advice yesterday. I tried to look only in the good side of situations and dispose of the negative energy circulating on my mind. Being optimistic actually worked! Haha... Now I'm starting to feel that I'm coming back to my old self again. ^_^ If I keep this up, hopefully I'll be able to build enough confidence to be active and stay active in class for the rest of the school year!
So far, that's that. Oh and today, selected students in my class (including me) took the English diagnostic test. It was fairly easy to comprehend. We were excused for the day. There's PTA this afternoon (so we have shortened period) and unfortunately Tita Nhora wasn't able to come coz she has choir practice at her church, being Iglesia and all that.
Well guys, I guess this is a long enough entry hehe. Gotta go now, see yah when I see yah! Luv uuu! Mwah! | 
